Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
