In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize