we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Randomize
