Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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