You're a womanizer and a bitch.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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