You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
