I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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