Tell her she can't have a vagina
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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