I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize