i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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