It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
