Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
