Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
