i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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