Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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