I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
