Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize