Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize