her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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