Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
