Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
