i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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