'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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