Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
the raccoons are back...
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