And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
