so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
