hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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