i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I love having hate sex.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
