I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
