I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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