dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
