Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
