The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
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