Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
