break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
