Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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