dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize