worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
