im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
