Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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