I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
