it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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