Pants 0. Shit 1.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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