Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
