End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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