Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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