Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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