no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
