I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize