Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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