Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween