I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems