If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me