first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?