not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
