I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
