Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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