I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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