My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize