As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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