so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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