i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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