Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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