Where is the hickey?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
