I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
